Strawberries, Indian food and Every Shade of Red

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As a now somewhat adult, adult in age not in maturity or responsibilities, still enjoying the taste and textures of cheese strings. I have begun to reflect on my youth, mainly finding mildly humorous tales that I can dramatize for this blog. On this reflection I have a few things to say to my past self, looking back at all my quirks and oddities, I have selected some idiosyncrasies that I find most troubling. Continue reading “Strawberries, Indian food and Every Shade of Red”

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Love, Drama and Chinese Buffets

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When I was a younger male, I considered myself rather respectable with the opposite sex. Firstly, being able to talk to females as if they were normal everyday people with emotions, desires and passions unlike my fellow penis wearing peers, who believed women/girls were an unusual species and should be very wary of. Being entirely unwary of the female kind I began to gather a rapport, but mostly failed to push passed best buds to the intimate relationship platform. This did not really bother me too much, but the rushing of hormones and trying rigorously to thrust my crouch into anything mildly warm human or not, started to become problematic. Continue reading “Love, Drama and Chinese Buffets”

Perverted Youth and a Tub of Vaseline

title.jpgI was an odd child, a peculiar ball of fat and undeveloped bones, with dark black eyes. Staring into those empty obsidian irises was like looking at the end of the universe and having the realization that God is totally ambivalent towards us. Though I didn’t do anything truly obscure as a child, I was still odd spending the majority of my time staring blankly into the void and avoiding eating red food products. Only having one true fatal flaw, substance abuse. Continue reading “Perverted Youth and a Tub of Vaseline”

Fantasy Kingdoms and Walk-in Wardrobes

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In my early days of youth, but still nearing the age where having imaginary friends and creatures was becoming problematic. My group of friends and I created the fantasy creatures known as Crocs, these unlifeforms named before the popularity of the proprietary closed-cell resin footwear, this being sad dark times in my friendship groups creative journey. Mainly because we couldn’t agree what the Crocs actually look like. Continue reading “Fantasy Kingdoms and Walk-in Wardrobes”

Jury Duty and Pick N Mix

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It was last summer when I was invited to be a part of the British judicial system. This took up around two and a half weeks of my time, however I had nothing better to do that summer so thought it would be at the very least something interesting that I could share with people, quite possibly in the form of a blog post. Continue reading “Jury Duty and Pick N Mix”

Speech for a Wedding

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I apologize that I have not been posting recently, as I have been preparing for my brother’s wedding, thus I have been rather busy. Instead of a normal story, here is the speech I wrote and performed.

A couple of things to note, I am very good friends with both my brother and his now wife. My brother and I look nothing a like and are very different people. Also, we have a personal inside joke to Babe 2 Pig in the City. Lastly, it was an incredible day and I am so incredibly thankful for both of them and the opportunity to be a part of the proceedings.

Here we go then… Continue reading “Speech for a Wedding”